Thursday, December 3, 2009

Exodus 20:

thou shalt not... frightening to some and to others merely words, less traveled and least explored.
To everyone connected or at least partially tuned in to the outside world as of late I'm sure you are well aware of The Tiger Woods Saga. You've heard the voice mail messages, you've seen the "traffic accident" images and have heard opinions from sportswriters, news anchors, and the assorted bunch. As I write this passage I find it ironic that I'm watching last nights broadcast of the George Lopez show where the funniest Mexican Dude on television has a few minutes worth of Tiger jokes and is landing jab after jab on the poor fella!

Initial reactions - I am a sports lover. I live for competition! en mi opinion, winning and losing helps us to discover who and what we are. I love waking up every morning and watching highlights of my favorite players scoring a winning goal, slam dunk on Chris Bosh and scream at him Paul Pierce, Chad Ochocinco do that dance, pay that bribe to the referee. That is the thrill, the rush you get from competition. Those are some of the things that attract/draw us to our favorite sports "celebrities".
Over the last week or two ESPN, the network my TV set is usually locked on has been talking Tiger almost to a point of frustration. I mean what's the big deal with a guy having a car accident in his own yard? Why in a down economy is the state of Florida spending so much time and money on this? I mean are we really that bored, lonely, or comfortably miserable in our own existence that auto accidents are news worthy? Or did they actually know something that we didn't, something they thought we may or may not care about?

Phase 2 - Tuesday AM. I wake up to ESPN, business as usual. Tiger is apologizing thru his website which is now being broadcast over the air. The journalists are eating it up. The news stations are loving it and Facebookers aka those at work that ain't workin' are taking moments to add their 3 to 5 cents in. I figured damn Le Tigre, say it ain't so. I mean you're a corny brotha, a smooth ass golf playing, Ivy league type that I wouldn't mind my future child admiring or looking up to. Why are you on TV apologizing to "us" for a car accident and why are you confessing your sins to the nation. F*ck "us" get on your knees and talk to the big homey. He or she is the only one that can help you now. Other professional athletes are now taking shots at you, funny how quickly they turn on you huh?
A couple hours go by and now the word is out. The side chicks, you know the ones you met on the road in LA, NY, Vegas etc. are now showing their faces and why? To add to your misery and to see if they can make a few dollars (of course her book will be coming soon). And damn, they look so good! I mean they should right? They are talent for hire, the finest chick in Kissmycousin, Arkansas needs to escape to Hollywood to be in entertainment right? LA, the city where one of your chicks resides is full of them! I know, I lived there almost four years. Most are talentless, typically pretty, short on cash, and the overall down for WHATEVER types! So now she drops the tape and its all over the internet and television. Yes that tape, you know the one that you made the worst non-playa move ever on! I heard it and it went something like this, "Ummmm please erase your name off the voice mail message" so when my wife calls you I can still try and argue my way out of this bullsh*t! El Tigre, B+ for effort, F for performance.

Tiger, you're not a player buddy! Please return your card to the rightful owners.

The Fade - in an effort to keep this short and sweet, especially because many of you reading this are at work and should be, well you know! Let me leave you with an easy set of solutions should you ever end up on either side of the Tiger, Clinton, Jordan, or Angelina Jolie house.

1. Ask yourselves, what am I doing or NOT doing that would make my mate feel ok (internally) with stepping outside of our Holy Union?

2. And then ask, I know this person is a ________ and is very highly sought after, should he/she be approached by, tramp on the road, Governor Spitzer, Monica Lewinsky, handsome six pack abs brotha from the handsome hunks calendar and decides to indulge, would I be okay with that? If your very immediate answer is no, then aim for someone closer to your range. Understand and accept that there is a price that COULD possibly come with dating/marrying "public figures". (Price = they may get a little on the side when they think you're not lookin')Unless you both have an equally matching swag, it's probably going to end up in disaster!

3. At the end of the day understand that time spent on Earth is short and that the Penguin is the only animal on the planet that keeps its mate for life (they only actually live together for mating and babysitting purposes, about half the year). The decisions that we make we have to live with and more importantly depending on your belief system you will one day have to justify the decisions and choices made before the man/woman upstairs. Think about that before that third glass of wine makes it easy for you to take your married a*s up the elevator to somebody's hotel room.

Steve McNair - R.I.P

My Thoughts, My World
PS1

2 comments:

  1. A woman friend of mine asked a very important question today, "When will the women that sleep with married men be held accountable?" Great question, I was actually speechless for quite a while.

    PS1

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  2. My man, you need to write more...

    ReplyDelete