Runaway Rubbish...

During the wee hours of Sunday morning I found myself in a very unusual position, suffering from extreme PAIN!!! After leaving a sick ass after hours party, sick meaning polished individuals, girls in pretty dresses, a few model friends of ours, some other club owners, lots of industry folks and absolutely no twilight tweakers. I stopped at a convenience store to get a bag of almonds and proceeded to the car. The wind in SF was blowing like crazy. The only time in my life I have ever felt wind that strong was when I went to Miami for the 2006 VMA's and caught the tail end of Hurricane Katrina. After watering a couple trees I am about to get in the car and I see a random dumpster coming down Post St. at about 20mph. I think that's weird and suddenly realize it is headed straight towards my car!!! I run out into the street and attempt to get my superhero stop on and boom I got IT!!! The sliding mechanism on the dumpster catches the pinky on my shooting hand (see Spring 2009 UCSF intramural hoops champs) and pretty much swallows it. Between the freezing cold and the instant shock I didn't fully comprehend what had just happened. Mckenzy G. always present, grabs the can and in a panic I try my best to pull my finger out. I'm not sure when the cut occured but when I finally got it out I could see my bone, inside of a finger - not pretty!!! I immediately open the trunk looking for a towel because I anticipated blood to be squirting everywhere. Never happened? I ask McKenzy to drive me to the ER, unfortunately he is from New York and they don't all drive over there so that lasted only about 4 blocks. "A" for effort my man, "A" for effort. I took the wheel and went about 20 mins to Kaiser.

Kaiser 5:15 AM - after checking in I wasn't in a panic but had all types of random thoughts running thru my head. I hadn't been in an emergency room since I broke my foot when I was 13. I was thinking about every hip-hop record I've ever heard criticizing the service people get in emergency rooms. After my experience I should record one too! Nurses cracking jokes, victims of bar fights being ridiculed (some of those stories were entertaing though), a couple nurses gossiping and a doctor that looked long overdue for a good nights sleep. When I finally got some attention and told my story I was told by two nurses that doesn't look like a trash can incident, my question "what does a trash can incident look like???" Had I known that this reality TV watching, hoping for a good story to take home type of staff was looking for an adventure, man would I have given 'em one. Believe that!!!

I felt like I was being punished for a while because after not feeding the right gangster fairy tale to the staff they all but ignored me for about an hour??? Yes, about an hour! It didnt really set in until this smoking hot bartender from a bar that I know comes in in a wheel chair with a twisted ankle and the male nurses some women too were all over her! I was in the bed next curtain over and I could hear everything. They had no shame! I was like damn patch her up and take her to breakfast already! Attention male nurse perverts - I can hear you, this is not a wall this is a curtain!

It is now about 730 AM and they finally start working on me. The up-sale is now on, according to the staff I was near death if I refused any of the products they suggested. I normally stay as far away from modern medicine as I can but given the fact that my pinky was damn near severed I felt I should comply. 11 stiches and 3 hours later I was released and sent home with prescriptions to be filled.

Moral of this story - get your Jackie Chan on and drop kick the dumpster should you ever be in a similar predicament.

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